Anyway, getting circumcised is a pretty big deal for every boy out there. Once done, you become a Man, and you can laugh at those still with their foreskin intact. (Sample of insult: "ha ha, mat kulup, tak malu...").
But the experience is nothing to laugh about, really. The first issue would be WHEN to do it? The belief is that the older one gets, the more "liat" it becomes (look it up). But don't do it when too young, or your thang might stop growing. Not really scientific in the reasoning, but most people hold these "principles" to be true.
As such, it was decided that I would be circumcised when I was in standard 4. And being an only child, it was also decided that 3 of my cousins (one older, one of the same age, and one younger) would join in the fun.
It was of course done during the school holidays, so naturally, my thoughts were solely on the big day (ahem, no pun intended), after the last school bell had rang that year. I must say I was a tad scared. Hey, it's a pretty important organ to meddle with, ok?
But everyone kept assuring me it was gonna be fine. "Alah, tak rasa apa pun, 10 saat je," said one. "Macam kena gigit semut je lah," said another. What a bunch of liars. I mean, I was 10, but I wasn't stupid. "Like getting bitten by an ant?" Give me a freakin' break.
Anyway, our fathers had hired this doctor who'd done this a million times at the hospital. But for us, he agreed to come over to our family house in Kampung Melayu, JB to turn all of us into men. We didn't have the "mandi" ritual tho. And we didn't sit on a "batang pisang".
Instead, we got cut up right there on the dining table. No kidding.
Before that, the order of circumcision had to be decided. I heard both sides of the argument. Go first and the knife might just cut off everything since it's still sharp. Go last, and the doctor might run out of "ubat bius".
I decided to go first.
I changed into a kain pelikat, and was walked to the table by my father. I gulped, then I lied down. To distract me from the impending pain, someone gave me a "Gila-Gila" magazine to read. I swear I'm not making any of this stuff up.
I tried reading it, but I had the magazine upside down. The whole thing lasted more than 10 seconds, obviously. And I felt a bit of pain. But it wasn't too bad. And when it was all done, I was led to the special "sunat" room for me to lie down.
...My kain was hoisted up just like the picture above. I remember feeling very hot and after the "bius" subsided, it felt quite painful down there.
But here come the cool parts. Two of us occupied the first room and the other two occupied the one at the back of the house. We were given special treatment. I got a Nintendo Game & Watch ("Popeye") from my father. How cool was that lah? So the next few days were spent suffering in pain WHILE playing a video game.......
The next cool part was that we had LOADS of visitors coming around. They would stop by our rooms and gave us money! Kaya, ok? The only bummer was that almost each and every one of them would also take a peek at our willies before moving on. So basically, people gave us money for showing them our willies. You make your own judgments.
But generally everything was A-OK. We had "sabut"s by our side to pound on our knees especially in the mornings to tame any unwanted, er, vertical movements, and we were up and about after about 5 days. And probably RM500 richer.
Not too shabby, really...