Friday, December 26, 2008

MZULKIFLI.COM Year In Review: January '08

WARNING: The following articles may offend those devoid of a sense of humour. Inspired by the Dave Barry school of writing. Motto: "Just make stuff up, it's fun!"

The year starts off with a, um, big bang, when a prominent politician is implicated in a sex video scandal (available at selected DVD dealers near you). And it doesn’t take long before Health Minister Dato’ Chua Soi Lek ‘fesses up, saying: “Yes, I did have sexual relations with that woman. But it WASN’T Paris Hilton.” Soi Lek then tenders his resignation letter and receives praise from the public for “attempting some of the positions he did in the video.”

Meanwhile the Royal Commission of Enquiry into the VK Lingam video (where lawyer VK Lingam was seen talking about some Kapal Korek) sees a string of prominent witnesses taking the stand including former Chief Justice Eusoff Chin, former PM Tun Mahathir and Cumi & Ciki. But Tun Mahathir, who memorizes the Yellow Pages for fun, can’t seem to remember much of what happened during that part of his life.

Pak Lah’s popularity continues to nosedive and in an apparent effort to boost his ratings, the PM names himself as the new principal of Akademi Fantasia. This immediately draws criticism from Tun Mahathir, saying: “Obviously joining Gang Starz would be better. It’s more, apa nama, mass lah.” Pak Lah retaliates by declaring that “My Way” will not be performed throughout the entire season of the show.

In showbiz, Siti Nurhaliza shocks the industry by becoming a Jedi.

But she fails to change the judge’s minds at Juara Lagu where rock outfit Estranged is crowned winners. The joy’s short-lived though as the band loses a light-saber battle to Siti and her Stormtroopers, and has to give up their trophies. And their right hands.

A bigger scandal though erupts when rocker Faizal Tahir takes off his shirt on live TV and gets sued by Superman himself for displaying the letter ‘S’ in the wrong font on his chest. And the cold war between former non-lovers Erra Fazira and Hans Isaac continues with Hans releasing his latest film, “Cuci Mulut Kau”.

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