Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008 In Captions

Take that Tony Fernandes!

Kabbalah aerobics. Guitar optional

"Hey, at least I'm still black, ok??"

...What happens on Songkok Swapping Day

"Finally, a dream come true!!!"

"Are you enjois???"

"Berat giler awek ni"

"Cheater on the left! Cheater on the left!"

The scramble for the last J.Co donut proved to be competitive

"Oops, wrong turn. My bad!"

Channel [V] latest VJ's quite enthusiastic

"Yes, I need a new pair of Batas please..."

The kindergaten's math progamme was quite successful...

"Sabar dulu tuan-tuan, goodie bag kita bagi nanti, ok?"

Monday, December 29, 2008

Xtremely Awesome

So peeps, I'm not quite a car guy, but with not much to do this past Sunday, I made my way to the International Xtreme Autoshow at Stadium Putra in Bukit Jalil. And it was quite an awesome experience.

All sorts of modified cars were there with all sorts of gadgets, bodypaint and um, other stuff stuck to the machines. I would rather spend my money on food and travel, but hey, whatever float their boat, man... Anyway, enjoy the pics and video!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

MZULKIFLI.COM Year In Review: March '08

The nation’s attention is naturally all on Election Day. “At least I can go and pay my bills after voting. Public holiday mah,” says the average man on the street.

Just a few days before polling day though a controversy erupts when the Election Commission cancels the use of indelible ink during polling day citing public order and security issues. When asked to comment, the Commission chairman says that there’s nothing unusual about the move ‘cos, “This kind of thing happens a lot in Malaysia. We just change our minds as we please and there’s nothing you can do about it. Muahahahaha.”

The 12th General Election itself turns out to be the most shocking ever when Barisan Nasional loses its 2/3 majority while the opposition, led by Dato’ Seri Anwar Ibrahim, wins an unprecedented 82 seats in Parliament, 5 Peninsula states and some parts of Mauritius. Some big names are defeated including Samy Vellu, M.Kayveas, Shahrizat Jalil, Mr Os and Mama Juwie. However, MIC President Samy Vellu refuses to resign, saying, “I don't want to be responsible for the fall of the entire toupee industry.”

In showbiz, former Felda boy turned millionaire, Mawi, picks up the Bintang Paling Popular title at the annual Anugerah Bintang Popular, narrowly defeating the red-hot Anwar Ibrahim. When asked to comment, Anwar blames phantom voters and the lopsided mainstream media for his defeat.

As for the other titles, Fasha Sandha is voted as “Pelakon Suara Kartun Paling Popular” while Siti Nurhaliza picks up the “Jedi Paling Berpengaruh” trophy. Unsurprisingly, Estranged are nowhere to be seen at the award ceremony.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

MZULKIFLI.COM Year In Review: February '08

Election fever officially begins when Pak Lah finally dissolves Parliament. Prominent blogger Jeff Ooi starts his campaign to be elected into Parliament and uses the internet to collect donations. Ooi instantly receives tons of money, most of it from Africans who inherit said money when their uncles pass away and now want Ooi to take it out from banks for a small fee. Ooi also receives plenty of breast enlargement offers which he politely turns down, saying: “I will only consider man-boobs if the voters insist on it.”

Ning Baizura marries a Mat Salleh divorcee by the name of Omar Christopher Layton Dalton Matthew Perry LeBlanc David Schwimmer Jerry Seinfeld Usain Bolt. When asked, Ning says she just calls him “Ujang”. The wedding itself is a unique affair when animals including goats, chickens, llamas, and the whole cast of ‘Meerkat Manor’ are brought into the banquet hall.

And for the second month in a row, Malaysia is rocked by another sex scandal, this time allegedly involving actress Ida Nerina. Ida denies it’s her doing the naughty in the widely circulated clip, but adds, “Even if it’s me, it’s obvious that I’m doing some workouts for the upcoming Amazing Race Asia.”

Meanwhile, a 25-year-old Malaysia Airlines co-pilot is convicted and fined in an Australian court for bringing in child pornography into the country. When passing the sentence, the magistrate firmly states that, “we will never condone the hideous culture of pirated porn. This can only happen when a Malaysian is involved.”

Friday, December 26, 2008

MZULKIFLI.COM Year In Review: January '08

WARNING: The following articles may offend those devoid of a sense of humour. Inspired by the Dave Barry school of writing. Motto: "Just make stuff up, it's fun!"

The year starts off with a, um, big bang, when a prominent politician is implicated in a sex video scandal (available at selected DVD dealers near you). And it doesn’t take long before Health Minister Dato’ Chua Soi Lek ‘fesses up, saying: “Yes, I did have sexual relations with that woman. But it WASN’T Paris Hilton.” Soi Lek then tenders his resignation letter and receives praise from the public for “attempting some of the positions he did in the video.”

Meanwhile the Royal Commission of Enquiry into the VK Lingam video (where lawyer VK Lingam was seen talking about some Kapal Korek) sees a string of prominent witnesses taking the stand including former Chief Justice Eusoff Chin, former PM Tun Mahathir and Cumi & Ciki. But Tun Mahathir, who memorizes the Yellow Pages for fun, can’t seem to remember much of what happened during that part of his life.

Pak Lah’s popularity continues to nosedive and in an apparent effort to boost his ratings, the PM names himself as the new principal of Akademi Fantasia. This immediately draws criticism from Tun Mahathir, saying: “Obviously joining Gang Starz would be better. It’s more, apa nama, mass lah.” Pak Lah retaliates by declaring that “My Way” will not be performed throughout the entire season of the show.

In showbiz, Siti Nurhaliza shocks the industry by becoming a Jedi.

But she fails to change the judge’s minds at Juara Lagu where rock outfit Estranged is crowned winners. The joy’s short-lived though as the band loses a light-saber battle to Siti and her Stormtroopers, and has to give up their trophies. And their right hands.

A bigger scandal though erupts when rocker Faizal Tahir takes off his shirt on live TV and gets sued by Superman himself for displaying the letter ‘S’ in the wrong font on his chest. And the cold war between former non-lovers Erra Fazira and Hans Isaac continues with Hans releasing his latest film, “Cuci Mulut Kau”.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Start Spreading The News - New York, New York Deli SUCKS!!!!!!!

So I was at One Utama just moments ago and was delighted to see this new eating place - New York, New York Deli. Whopee! Being a big fan of hotdogs and burgers, I took a seat and ordered Root Beer float and some NY orginal hotdog.

The drink came fast and tastes like any other root beer float.

Then I waited. And waited. And waited. And waited.

After 30 minutes, no hot dog. So I called the waiter and said: "Can you check on my order please?" And guess what? He didn't understand a word I was saying. Imagine that, English not being understood at a New York deli.

Anyway, I did some sign language and he finally got me and went to check on my food.

But still, I waited. And waited. And waited. And oh, the people behind me who themselves were complaining about the lambat-ness already got their burgers.

At the 55min mark, I finally got up and went to the cashier to cancel my order and pay for my float. I complained to the dude but the bugger didn't really seem to care.

Only this other guy offered some "I'm sorry sir".

So now I'm back at the office having NOT had my lunch. I'm hungry and grumpy. Macam sial je New York, New York Deli.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

My Favourite Stuff of 2008


Watch You Bleed: The Saga of Guns N Roses. Sex, drugs and rock n roll. And then some...

AC/DC’s Black Ice. Straight up rock n roll with big chunky riffs and awesome choruses. Brilliant.
TV Show

Entourage. Ari is Gold.
Magazine Entertainment Weekly. Loads of good stuff. Every single week.

Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip. Finally watched it and I’m pulling my hair now knowing there’s never gonna be a second season.

Website Go on, have a look…
Movie Iron Man. Great action with a cool suit and music. Apa lagi nak?
Piece of Clothing This obviously unofficial KISS T-Shirt bought at the Jatuchak Market in Bangkok
... .
Food The Coffee Bean bagel. I could eat it every single day.
Gadget My brand new iPod Classic. 2,000 songs and counting so far.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

What's Up With The Pout 'O' Doom???

So apparently I never got the memo. The one that said to exist (or be popular) in the web 2.0 universe, you have to deploy the Pout 'O' Doom.

What am I on about? Well, just check out the pics of your facebook or friendster friends/enemies. I'm sure in most of their photos, they pretty much look like this...

(sorry Miya! nanti bos belanja something)

And there's nothing spontaneous or candid about it. The Pout 'O' Doom is 99% posed. And that's a good thing these days. I've tried looking for answers as to why this is so, but have failed to find one.

But I AM jumping on the badwagon. Hey, if that's what people want, I have no choice but to give it to them...

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I Could/Should Have Been An Army Man

So a piece in The Star today brought back some fond memories for me. It's about the gruelling "interview" process young hopefuls need to go through in order to get admitted into the prestigious Royal Military College.
It's something I went through myself some 25 years ago and the experience actually left a lasting impression on me. And no, I didn't do it 'cos I was forced into it, but because I genuinely wanted to be an RMC boy. "Askar" was actually one of my original "cita-cita", if you would believe it.
Anyway, the whole process started back in JB when I was in standard 6. We had to take some sort of written test, and then a thorough medical check-up. Pass both, and you're off to RMC itself in Sungai Besi, KL. Which I managed to do.
I remember taking the KTM train from JB to KL. And went we arrived, all of us were loaded on to army trucks to take us to the college. I was damn excited just sitting in the truck and breathing in the polluted KL air.
At the college, we were assigned dorm rooms and the "interview" process started. I remember we could only wear all-white sports wear, and we were immediately taught how to make our beds, military style.
Then we had to go through some gruelling physical tests including running, doing tons of push-ups and chin-ups and other forms of organised torture. But guess what, I passed all of those as well, and actually got into the final interview stage.
I felt confident that I'd get in, but in the end, they gave me the snub. Ah well. But I think my late parents were kind of relieved.
But if I had gone through, I'd be launching bazookas now, instead of online dramas. I'd probably have spent some time in exotic places like, um, Rwanda, or Somalia. And I'd at least be Major Zulkifli by now, looking something like this...

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Thanks Again Peeps!

So earlier today, my thoughtful peeps threw a surprise birthday do at the office. I was in the middle of an "intense" meeting when a few of them burst into the room uninvited. I was about to fire their asses until they shouted the magic word: "SURPRISE!!!". I guess I'll just have to fire their asses another day... KIDDING!

Anyway, 8th December was also our Head of Web Design Nick's birthday. So we had TWO yummy cakes, 2 cards, but one additional gift for me. Sorry lah Nick, but I'm the Boss. Haha!

So, thanks again peeps! The card just keeps getting bigger by the year and that is very much appreciated :) Best part - no one actually asked me about my age. Phew!

Monday, December 08, 2008

My 8 Favourite Moments Of 2008

1. Got into KLUE magazine's Top 20 Under 40 List.
2. FINALLY had some Krispy Kreme donuts in Jakarta. Yum.

3. Launched in April, and unleashed the Supergig a couple of months later...

4. The MTV Asia Awards baby!

5. Enjoyed Bangkok before the whole shit happened.

6. Rocked out in the name of D'Kechewas. Twice.

7. Celebrated GUA turning one!
8. Did the whole "Layannn..." thing live on Melodi.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

A Wedding, A Birthday & Chinese Democracy

So today’s sort of an interesting day.

Mawi came by the office to personally deliver his wedding invitation card. Unfortunately yours truly had just stepped out for lunch shortly before and missed out on the hu-ha that ensued. But in case you’re curious, this is what the card looks like…

And a couple of hours later, a special package arrived at the office from Sony Music.

It’s Britney Spears’ new album launch ‘Circus’ which coincides with her Birthday! Selamat Hari Jadi Brit-Brit. We’re Sagittarians lah : ) And look at what was in the package….

And oh yeah, I finally got the latest Guns N Roses album ‘Chinese Democracy’. It came with a free T-Shirt some more, which I immediately put on!


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