Thursday, August 30, 2007

MERDEKA SPECIAL: 30 Coolest Things About Malaysia / Being Malaysian

1. We’re so respectful, we call half of the people in the country “Datuk”.

2. We’re so multi-whatever. E.g.: There are people named Pierre and Candace who come from places like Sg. Toh and Manjung.

3. We’re also multi-accented. Malaysians speak in perfect American, British or Australian accent and we’re proud of it!

4. Deadlines for income tax and new ICs are always extended. Government so understanding mah.

5. We’re consistent in other ways. RTM TV programs, for example, have looked the same since 1935.

6. We’re a very creative lot. Give us just a small space, and we’d be able to park 47 cars there.

7. Also, give Malaysians a nice, clean toilet wall, and we’ll “decorate” it, free of charge!

8. Everyone’s a “boss”.

9. Everyone with a tad of talent is an “artis”.

10. We celebrate everything by declaring another “public holiday”!

11. We’re not long-winded people. When asked for opinion about something, we simply reply: “Er, aaaa, um, errrr, kira ok lah”.

12. Rats making dinners? We’ve had it for years!!! Just go to Uptown.

13. Taxis always take us round and round before we reach actual destination. A definite boost for domestic tourism.
m.zulkifli

14. We’re an accommodating lot. Even when we get no service at restaurants, we’ll always return to the same places anyway!

15. We love celebrations so much, we’d even combine whatever holiday we can to make it even bigger, like Deepa Raya, Kongsi Raya, Krismas Puasa.

16. Talk about unity, just throw an Open House and you’ll see Malaysians from all walks of life flocking over with Tupperware in hand. Free food unites us!

17. Also on unity, we just love to get together via the various persatuans. Even better if there’s free t-shirt and kuih muih.

18. When we go to Sabah or Sarawak, we need to carry passports. It gives these two places an “international feel”. No need to go elsewhere already!

19. We believe in “survival of the fittest”, that’s why we basically shun queues. It turns us into tougher people.

20. During fasting month, we’ll see people from all races enjoying the buka puasa feasts in true muhibbah fashion, even if it means bumping off those who actually fasted during the day and are about to die from hunger.

21. We welcome praises from anyone, anywhere in the world; except from foreigners who are jealous of our success and practice a new form of colonialism which we have to be wary of.

22. We love football so much, we’d die defending our favourite football clubs like Manchester United and Chelsea.

23. We add chili sauce to just about everything that we eat; so much so that we feel “cheated” when dining overseas and the waiter brings us bloody ketchup. Tui!

24. The line “Can I hep chu?”. You can’t hear it anywhere else in the world!

25. We break records every other day! There’s not a kuih that we don’t want to make the BIGGEST version of.

26. We don’t like to show-off. That’s why our national football team ranks lower than the likes of Swaziland and Mauritania. We simply don’t want to eksyen mah.

27. On the road, we treat strangers like good friends, in that we don’t feel guilty in directing insults at them.

28. Also, motorcyclists enjoy complete freedom on the road since regular traffic laws don’t really apply to them.
m.zulkifli

29. We have plenty of gorgeous rivers for picnicking, and also, for convenient garbage disposal.

30. People actually claim that they invented some of our unique dishes. Kari kepala ikan invented by Singapore? Puhleeez…

Monday, August 27, 2007

The 7 Coolest Things Of The Past 7 Days ®

1. Nicole Richie gets away with just 82mins of jail
Apparently she used BFF Paris’s discount card. Meanwhile…

2. Lindsay Lohan gets away with a day in jail for drunk driving
Apparently she used Paris’s friend-get-a-friend privilege card. Speaking of which, here’s…

3. Paris on the cover of GQ Germany!
Amazing what prison does for one’s, um, beauty…
m.zulkifli

4. Jenna Jameson quits the adult film industry…
…and takes out breast implants. But I have no idea why this is cool.

5. Datuk Siti and Datuk K celebrate first anniversary
And no, she ain’t got no bun in the oven. So stop asking!!!

6. Gay rules!
As in, Tyson Gay, the US sprinter. Dude won the 100m world title with a time of 9.85s.

7. DVD-sniffing dogs Flo & Lucky awarded with medals by Malaysian Govt
At least we know these VIPs won't be corrupt : )
m.zulkifli

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Gorgeous!

... is the only word to describe the all-new 8TV website! There's loads to see and do, so click here now!

Monday, August 20, 2007

The 7 Coolest Things Of The Past 7 Days ®

1. Madonna turns 49
And still looks like a virgin! Well, maybe not...

2. John Mayer dates Cameron Diaz now
Confirmed. Chicks dig emo dudes.

3. Britney goes topless in Allure mag
But is it really a big deal anymore?
m.zulkifli

4. Paris launches own clothing line
But there were no signs of orange jumpsuits or striped tees…

5. David Copperfield to perform in KL in October
Can he make useless politicians disappear?

6. Becks scores first goal for LA Galaxy
He’d still need to knock in a couple more to justify that USD250m pay though…

m.zulkifli

7. "I can't wait to get pregnant again. It's so fun and consuming and romantic”
…says Gwen Stefani. Not sure if hubby agrees that deprivation’s “romantic”.

What Made Me Laugh Today

This joke:


What's the difference between Man Utd and a triangle?


A triangle has three points!



Thanks Rizal for forwarding me this one!

Friday, August 17, 2007

Celebrating 20 Years of Celebrity Stalking

Was going through my old albums and discovered that it was 20 years ago that I snapped my first photo with a real-life celebrity. It was with my favourite celebrity in fact, i.e.: rock legend Amy of Search.

I’m not a big photo taker, but since then I’ve managed to snap a few with some pretty famous folks. So allow me to totally be shameless and share some of these treasured moments with you lot…

(Yes, do laugh at my expense)



Can Amy Search look any more thrilled???
m.zulkifli


At the same gig with Hillary Ng


Mika Hakkinen will always be da man!

m.zulkifli

7 feet, 500lbs, WWE's The Big Show


With Globe Trekker legend Ian Wright

m.zulkifli

MTV man Utt


With "Michael Owen"


Malaysia's Sexiest babe that year, Amber Chia

m.zulkifli
That's Gilby Clarke, ex Guns N Roses guirtarist


Metallica's Jason Newstead! Rock Brudder!!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Thursday Night Rant: And The Fake Award Goes To…

The show’s long over but people are still talking about the suckiness of the TV broadcast of Festival Filem Malaysia 20. “Lifeless”, “pathetic” and “macam sial” are just some of the unkind descriptions I’ve heard personally.

And yes, I agree completely.

But what really got my goat as well was the presentation of the various “Anugerah Juri” at the beginning of the show. The Awards, such as “Anugerah Juri Bagi Usaha Berterusan Papar Budaya Masyarakat Setempat”, sound totally made-up with the intention of somehow rewarding losers.

But if that’s what floats their boat, here are my suggestions for next year:

Anugerah Khas juri Bagi Filem Yang Tidak Memaparkan Unsur-Unsur Klise Seperti “Datuk Yang Kaya Dan Gatal Yang Suka Ke Disco Dangdut”, “Fresh Orange” Dan Sebagainya

Anugerah Khas Juri Bagi Paparan Masyarakat Yang Langsung Tak Sama Dengan Realiti Semasa Kerana Masyarakat Perlu Dilindungi Dari Unsur-Unsur Realiti Yang Negatif

Anugerah Khas Juri Filem Yang Sarat Dengan “Product Placement” Sehingga Penonton Berasa Teruja Membeli Produk Tersebut Sebaik Sahaja Keluar Panggung

Monday, August 13, 2007

The 7 Coolest Things Of The Past 7 Days ®

1. Richard Branson arrives in Malaysia
… and wears a freakin' tanjak! The dude's a daredevil alright.

2. Wayne Rooney breaks bone on EPL opening day
Makes the title exciting, doesn’t it?

3. Paris hooks up with “Vince”
Where your hands at dude? And are those real???


4. Mawi’s ex Ina marries fiancé
Congratulations! Now can you stay home and, um, not sing anymore?

5. Vina Morales wins IKON Asean
Can you see why?


6. Scary Spice reveals she’s secretly married
But the kid is still yours, Eddie. Meanwhile…

7. Baby Spice welcomes baby boy
OK, this kid is not yours, Eddie…

Friday, August 10, 2007

EPL! EPL! EPL!

The season proper starts this weekend and I’ve got 3 words for it. Woo. Freakin. Hoo.

And going straight to the point, here are my main predictions:

Premiership Champs
Liverpool

FA Cup Champs
Liverpool

League/Carling/Worthington/Milk/Whateveryouwanttocallit Cup
Manchester City (Imagine the victory parade with transsexuals on tuk tuks. Cool huh?)

m.zulkifli

Supplementary predictions:

First Manager To Score
Sven-Goran Eriksson (get it?)

First To Feud With Mourinho
Roy Keane

First To Feud With Fergie
Roy Keane

The Vinnie Jones Award For Excellence In Thuggery
Joey Barton

The Number Of Times The Word “Soccer” Will Be Used
0

Shock Buy Of The Season
Shebby purchases 4 more Profitable Plot lots

The Only Celebratory Shirt Lifting Should Be Done By…
Jamie Yeo

WAG Of The Season
Carly Zucker (look it up)

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Accidental Smut

At a Jusco store...
m.zulkifli

And again, here's dictionary.com's definition:

tit (tĭt) Pronunciation Key n.
1. Vulgar Slang A woman's breast.
2. A teat.

Monday, August 06, 2007

The 7 Coolest Things Of The Past 7 Days

1. The EPL is back!
And life is finally complete again…

2. Nicole Richie admits she’s pregnant
At least now she’ll put on some weight!

3. On The Lot just keeps getting interesting-er
And I’m not just talking about the host. Ahem.
m.zulkifli
4. Gwen Stefani promises to cover up for Malaysian gig
Hollerback Girl in Kebaya?

5. Usher marries pregnant girlfriend
You hear that Eddie Murphy?

6. David Beckham improves “soccer” ratings in the US…
By just sitting on the bench! That’s star power.

7. Cinta wins Best Film award at FFM20
Love actually conquers all! : )

Sunday, August 05, 2007

And We Have Lift-Off!

Some 400 people turned up for the trade launch last Friday where a slew of New Media projects under Media Prima were unveiled, including one new brand really close to my heart. And I got through my 15-min presentation unscathed. Phew!
Name of this new entertainment + lifestyle portal with the best Malaysian content? Well, let's just call it XYZ.com for now...
Enjoy the pics though.
m.zulkifli

Friday, August 03, 2007

It's D-Day!

Yes, the time has come indeed. In just a few hours, the revolution begins...





And to the generous peeps who sent these flowers, MUCH APPRECIATED!
m.zulkifli

Thursday, August 02, 2007

I'm Feeling Rather Weird Now...

Cos last night I had these...


Oysters and durian. What a combination huh? But it was all in the name of "rezeki". Burrppp...

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