Friday, March 30, 2007

Friday's Pop Report

Was it just a coincidence or were the American Idol producers simply giving the American public a taste of what’s really coming? I’m talking about last week’s “British Invasion” theme and the impending reality of it.

We all know that Posh and Becks will soon lead the invasion when they move to LA in a couple of months time. And now they’ve got some “huge reinforcements” in the form of Jordan, aka Katie Price.

Clueless? This is she…


Holy Howcanthosepossiblybereal Batman!

Anyway, the news is that American cable channel the E! network has acquired the rights to air Jordan's previously broadcast UK reality show, and I’m pretty sure her past dirt (and she’s got loads of it, trust me) will be dug up and served on the American public. Price is right indeed!

Speaking of reality shows, it seems that “Sucky” Sanjaya’s survival on Idol could now lead to a real tragedy. A MySpacer only known as “J” has gone on a hunger strike (it’s been more than 10 days now), and she’s sworn not to touch even a snickers bar until Sanjaya is sent home. Gandhi would have been proud. Or, maybe not.



Remember that sexy duet oldie Willie Nelson recorded with Jessica Simpson for The Dukes of Hazard soundtrack?

Looks like the weed-lovin' country legend is making sexy duets his new habit. His new partner in crime (the most appropriate word, this)? "Montok" Mariah Carey. "She and I hung out and decided to do something together," Willie was quoted as saying.

But why not just share some grandpa stories, grandpa?

On the local front, more photos of local singers, hosts and thespians in all sorts of poses have surfaced. Hey, doesn’t this just prove that we’re producing more multi-talented (and multi-faceted) artistes?

That's it for this week. Are you enjoys?

Caption Time!

The multi-orgasmic Hulk wasn't too popular with the ladies

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Jeff and the not-so-friendly Jumbo

It wasn’t on primetime news, so you’ve probably not heard about Animal Planet’s Jeff Corwin’s near-fatal brush with a Cambodian elephant. Yup, Corwin almost became Irwin when a Jumbo “tossed him like a ragdoll” during the filming of a show hosted by CNN’s Anderson Cooper. Amazingly, Corwin escaped with every bone intact.

The incident was caught on tape and is even now available on YouTube (of course).



I had the pleasure of meeting the man some three years back when Animal Planet actually flew me all the way to Taipei for an interview.

I must say that unlike the hyper Ian Wright, Corwin was a pretty calm and quiet man. He answered my questions with a lot of thought and was polite and proper throughout the chat.

And for someone who spends most of his time in the deepest jungles imaginable, the dude looked pretty well-groomed. And he didn’t smell at all!

The next day though I got to see a different side of him. We took the same van to go to this café to launch his new program, and he turned out to be a cool dude after all. A big film fan, Corwin was spewing movie trivia throughout the entire trip with a few impersonations thrown in.

But I remember he was a bit fussy with his Starbucks coffee…

Excerpts of the interview from the March ’04 issue of NewMan magazine:

Do you have anything against the circus?
Yes, I do. I don’t have a problem with the concept of a circus. What I have a problem with is exploiting wildlife for entertainment. Especially when there’s a level of suffering for the animals. I don’t think monkeys should be on roller skates and orangutans shouldn’t be in human clothes.

What do you miss most when you’re deep in the jungles?
My family – my wife and seven-month-old baby daughter. But I travel with a great crew and we have a lot of fun too. We’re like family on the road.

What was your reaction when you found out that you were named one of People magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People?
It was cool cos that took the subjects of nature and animals to the forefront. I’m not an actor or a movie star; I’m a biologist! And to make biology beautiful or sexy for a day was rather cool, but I think you have to keep things in perspective.

What sort of pets do you have at home?
I have a cat. And that’s it.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

American Idol Prime Time Blogging!

8.00pm
Oh wow! Its Gwen Stefani week! Awesome... Love Spiderweb. I Remember getting the tabs from Guitar World mag and practised like mad. Gave up after a couple of days...

She looks more glam these days lah. Hmm, and maybe some plastic surgery?

8.05pm
Lakisha goes first, but singing a Donna Summers song? Hmm.

She's wearing boots?? With that dress? Aiyo, looks so short and extra chunky... The singing's not bad though. As usual...

It was a'ight. Not maximum "yo". Wait, Simon loves the boots? Horrendous lah Simon...

7/10

8.17pm
Chris Sligh next. Dude cracks some jokes. Kinda funny. He's singing a Police song? Cool.

He's got his specs on. Jacket looks ok. A bit shaky with the vocal, though.

Too short the song. Randy doesn't really like it. Yeah, there was a problem with Chris' tempo. Paula's not too crazy bout him either. Simon completely buries the dude.

5/10

8.23
Gina sucks up to Gwen. Great song choice though. But she looks like a Pussycat Doll!

Holy cow! The girl can actually sing. On "Boots Night" to boot!

9/10

8.27
Commercial break. But Sanjaya's next! SHUDDER!

8.30
WHAT IS UP WITH THE HAIR SANJAYA????

AND THE SINGING??!!! Forget the lyrics some more!

Salah lah Macha...

2/10

8.36
Man, Gwen is one honest chick. Yes Haley, just sing the song. And it's a great Cyndi Lauper song.

The chick looks great. But none of that subtle angst to pull this of... "Sweet but forgettable," says Simon. Agree.

4/10

8.41
Another Police song! Don't screw this up Phil. Or it'll be goodbye, the way I see it.

Stupid hat. But decent performance.

6/10

8.46
And another Donna Summers song! No modern stuff, Melinda?

Cool batik top. Nice belt.

Nothing special vocally. Girl needs to take it up a notch. Charisma? Yeah, she's got it.

7/10

8.52
The first beatbox-less performance by Blake? Let's see..

Dude's got the looks, though. Can model for Janice Dickinson...

I'll say it again, the song's too short! But Blake's gonna sail through... No doubt about it. Hey, did I just say that?

7/10

8.56
Jordin! Aiya, she spoils it with that outfit. And J.Lo earrings.

And what's up with the sucky vocals? Houston, we have a problem.

What? Is Randy deaf? Pah!

3/10

9.00
Chris R sings Don't Speak! Which sounds like a Malay song, agree?

Lame. No power in the chorus.

Lame end to the night.

4/10

That's it folks. Star of the night is definitely Gina for me. Bottom 3 prediction? Hmm... Phil, Chris Sligh and Haley. Now for Heroes!

Deja Vu

Bought this copy of Entertainment Weekly yesterday...

And instantly I remembered this Men's Review cover in 2001...

No, I'm not saying Ning is ugly. It's just that... I think you can see for yourself lah. The hands entering frame and all that.

Here's a secret. That was pretty much an "accidental" cover. We had shot and selected another pic but when I looked through the films again, I spotted this shot which I thought would make an interesting, cool and different cover.

And that blurb "Hands Off Ning!" just came naturally. It was appropriate then cos the whole sex fantasy issue was still being talked about.

But oh, that "Ten Hottest Sex Tips Ever!" did earn us a letter from KDN...

Accidental smut

On Mixfm yesterday...

Richard Ng: FANNY!!!!
Caller: Yesssss
Richard: Nice name ah, Fannyyyy...
Caller: Hehehe

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Tabloid Tales : Starring ghouls, minxes and horses

I’m kicking off this edition with some excellent news from Mingguan Warta Perdana. The folks in Pantai Remis, Perak can sleep better now cos the goblin that’s been haunting them has been caught by Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Ha ha! Not really. Buffy’s been off air for a few years already, so there’s no way she could have done this.

Anyway, it was a slightly unsexier pawang who caught the little rascal which has now been placed in a mayonnaise jar (I’m guessing here). The excellent-er news? You can catch a glimpse of this “jembalang”, and a host of other weird beings (politicians not included, though) at an exhibition in Central Market.



And here’s the headline of the fortnight courtesy of Mingguan Warga Kota



I'm speechless, really. But I have to say that this particular issue is packed with the best kind of sleaze you can imagine. From reports of female undergrads providing “khidmat power”(powerful service?), to transvestites using black magic to lure married men into their bed, this is the kind of read that will leave you wondering, “How come I’m not getting any action myself?” Kidding!

And while an English newspaper was suspended (ahem) for merely mentioning Malaysians’ favourite positions in the sack (which we’re all well aware of, right?), this tabloid actually describes in great detail how to execute the Top 3 positions, “Gaya Kepiting”, “Dok-al-Arz” and the imaginatively-named “Gaya Kuda” (Horse Style). A must-read indeed for those who still don’t quite know how to make the best of certain “spots” and “zones”.



If that’s not enough, Bacaria has 14 more tips specially researched for the ladies by one Diva Lady Armani.


Pick of the tips? Avoid touching the weak spots on your hubby’s body, ladies. Instead, focus on other parts such as “dada, puting atau lengannya yang sasa.” (chest, nipples or his bulging biceps)

Guys, get cracking on those bicep curls already…

Monday, March 26, 2007

The 7 Coolest Things Of The Past 7 Days

1. Kazakhstan upsets Serbia in Euro '08 qualifier
Borat celebrated by having a bit of "sexy time". High Five!

2. PS3 launched worldwide
Good thing Christmas is still far away, huh?

3. French Spidey strikes back!
Would've been cooler if he had a black outfit on, though.


4. Eminem files motion to prevent ex-wife from talking trash 'bout him
Usually this means a new album is just round the corner...

5. Ellen DeGeneres to launch own greeting cards
Yes, there will be a "Happy Mommies Day" line.

6. Britney's out of rehab...
... and K-Fed's off babysitting duties. "Phew!" for him.

7. Valentino Rossi wins Spanish MotoGP
The Doctor's in... but with the same ridiculous hair, unfortunately.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Friday's Pop Report

Yes I have seen the pictures. (You guys know what I’m talking about). And yes I’ve heard some “untold” stories about this cat-loving minx. But I refuse to make any conclusion… until I see more pictures. Or a video... But I have to say that the defense of “it was superimposed” should be outlawed by now. Who does that anymore? Superimposed smut is as stimulating as a bald Britney, okay?

She actually did it! Ultra glam supermodel Naomi Campbell served her community service (after pleading guilty to assaulting her maid with a telephone) by cleaning lockers and scrubbing toilets. But wait! Even on scrubbing duties, Naomi’s more glam than our own plastic-looking socialites…


Guys, guess who this is…


It’s Jenna Jameson. Not so syok-looking, huh? But give the girl a break. Jenna’s going through a nasty divorce and the mud slinging is happening via her and her ex’s MySpace pages! That’s one we’ve not seen in the local scene. Yet.

Finally (yeah, it's a pretty short report this week), here’s a couple of pics of celebs who can only count up to one (please don’t look if you’re under 18)…




That’s it for this week. Are you enjoys?

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

My 5 Favourite... Victoria

5 Queen Victoria
Lasted 63 years with a crown on her head and made the British Empire truly great. She’s the real King of Queens.

4 Victoria Beckham
Admit it guys, before Becks came along we all thought she was kinda hot, didn’t we? Well, at least hotter than Scary…

3 Victoria Principal
Why else were teeny boys watching Dallas back then?



2 Victoria Station
Big juicy steaks and lobsters. Burp!

1 Victoria’s Secret
Making billions of women look good. They’ve got to be number one!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The Breakfast Club

One of the main reasons why I took up the job at Men’s Review magazine back in 2002 was the exciting prospect of hosting The Breakfast Club column.

The column was founded by Lyle Skosey (yes, he of the City of The Rich debacle, I mean, fame) and the format was simple; chat up KL’s most beautiful babes over breakfast, before they’re fully glammed up and sober (well, not all the time).

After Lyle left the country, Harith Iskander took over and kept the tradition alive nicely. And the column got all the major names to participate; from beauty queens and models, to A list actresses and singers.

But for my own Breakfast Club hosting debut, we added a little twist. Since Lyle had returned to Malaysia then, we decided to turn the tables on him and make him the interview subject instead. And he’d be subjected to the same sexist queries he was famous for.

That’s not all though. We gave Lyle the name J.Loh, and dressed him up in drag… something I swear he totally enjoyed!

It was a wild and weird experience on so many levels. But the interview was fun, naughty and sexy (somehow).

Interestingly, not many people caught the joke, although we dropped many hints, and kept calling the office to know who was this “mat salleh drag queen”. Even years after the piece was published, those who knew Lyle were still in the dark about the whole thing. Probably we shouldn’t have hired such a good make-up artiste…


Excerpts from the interview…

Thank you for taking time off to talk to us. We know you’re a very busy person.
It’s my pleasure to be here because to be in the same column with stars such as Ning Baizura, Paula Malai Ali and Maya Karin is such a great honour. Of course I was looking forward to be interviewed by, no offense, Lyle Skosey as I’m such a great admirer of his but I think you’re kinda cute as well

I’m truly flattered. So you’ve met Lyle before?
It’s funny you say that. I met Lyle and it was almost love at first sight. We seemed to have so much in common.

And curiously, you two kinda look alike…
Well, people quite often ask if we were related. But no, we are not related although we might have had a relationship before.

So, um… How many people have you slept with?
I’m not the type to kiss and tell but I wanna make it clear that Hans Isaac and I are just good friends. And while I've been often seen with Harith Iskander, it’s just because he makes me laugh. Okay?

Do you like Malaysian men?
The problem with Malaysian men is that they’re just too shy. And it’s only after a few drinks that they aren’t shy and then they’re too straight forward.

Foreign men?
Let’s just say they can’t all be Lyle Skosey. I suppose what really turns me off is that mat salleh men don’t wash their ass with soap and water after they go. Ya know?

So, what do you look for in a guy?
I like 80s men because they’re more sensitive. Somebody ambitious, charming and cute. Somebody like you!

Er… ha ha ha…

Monday, March 19, 2007

The 7 Coolest Things Of The Past 7 Days

1. Malaysians causing a racket
Dynamic duo Koo Kien Keat and Tan Boon Heong pick up the Swiss Open title while Nicole David triumph in the KL Open. But again, let's not be over-generous with the perks.

2. Second low-cost carrier Firefly launched
Personally, I need a low-cost mamak more. Imagine, RM1.99 for nasi goreng ayam…

3. Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show on Star World
The music was simply fantastic! Oh, some of the models were pretty okay… (ahem)



4. New F1 season is a go!
Raikkonen looked weird in red, but looked damn good winning the Aussie GP.

5. Angelina Jolie officially adopts Vietnamese boy
Three-year-old Pax Thien Jolie joins the brood. Apparently, Benetton has called several times…

6. SportsCenter Malaysia to kick off next month
But will they feature the Kuala Pilah football league?

7. The confession of Christina Aguilera
Interviewed by UK’s The Sun, X-Tina revealed that she loves playing naughty doctors-and-nurses sex games at home. Pretty sure a video will pop up soon somewhere…

Friday, March 16, 2007

The Pop Report

Looks like The Pop Report has already stirred some form of controversy. Hurrah! If you remember, the first ever edition of The Pop Report had a bit about AF1 champ Vince Chong “hooking up” with hot Hannah Tan recently. Apparently, some of Vince’s fans have expressed their unhappiness over this.

Chill guys and gals! The two are mere friends and nothing more. And I can put a Sirim stamp to that!

Since “Sucky” Sanjaya Malakar is still in American Idol (somehow), might as well have some fun at his expense… by rating his ridiculous dos!

Messy yet acceptable. Chicks dig it. 6/10

Ridiculous performance. Ridiculous hat. 4/6


Doing the Paula. No dude, no! 3/10


No, wait. That's not him...


Doing the Diana. The horror! The horror! 0.5/10

If you (for whatever reason) enjoyed K-Fed's recent cameo on CSI, here's an interesting bit of news. Apparently, Christina Aguilera has been lined up for an appearance on CSI:Miami. Meanwhile, Nip/Tuck has also scored an upcoming celebrity cameo in the form of Madonna. And when it comes to the Mother of Re-invention, you know it's not gonna be something ordinary. It's been confirmed that Mrs Ritchie will appear nude on the show... If only this was 1985.

And how can I end The Pop Report without something on the Oscar no-show of Linda Onn? But this bit of goss does not involve the Era DJ. Instead, a source has revealed that another female Malaysian personality’s name had been proposed for the job before Linda’s name popped up, but she was quickly axed when a list of demands were made even before the trip was finalised! Who is it? Let the guessing game begin...

That’s it for this week. Are you enjoys?

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Tabloid Tales (every fortnight)

Welcome to this brand spanking new column where I put the trash out for your general amusement.

And what better way to kick things off than a bit on the King of Kulai himself, Mawi. A mere kapchai owner a couple of years back, the dude now has a fleet of cars, including a Kia Optima and a Naza Sorento, at his disposal. The only hitch? He’s got no driver’s license!



Well folks, we can all stop losing sleep over it now cos according to Mingguan Perdana, Mawi is getting his driver’s license any day now. And the move has drawn a positive reaction from JPJ itself, although it came with a warning: “If the dude drives without a license anyway, we’re gonna make him sing at our annual dinner. For the next 10 years.” I’m kidding, of course.

Now, here’s some great news for those into headless Japanese soldiers! According to Mingguan Misteri, folks from a kampung in Bahau, Negri Sembilan have had various encounters with Mr Yamatakmatilagi. Even more chilling is the fact that this particular soldier can assume various forms (ala the bad Terminators in those Arnie movies) including the run-of-the-mill lembaga hitam (yawn) and, believe it or not, a hot babe. But no, it wasn’t Maya Karin, ok?


And here’s the headline of the fortnight…


Yup. In big, bold font is the word ‘coli’. Right there on the front-page. No prizes for guessing what the story’s all about. But here’s the latest twist on Linda Onn-gate as exposed by Bacaria.

Apparently, the reason she refused to wear that controversial skin colour Kebaya was because she only brought pink and black bras (ahem), and those wouldn’t match well with the dress.

And we all know how hard it is to find a pair of new bras in Hollywood, don’t we?

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Oh Sweet Amber!



I first heard of Amber Chia during my first stint at FHM back in 2001. She had appeared in the Chili Padi section just before I came in and a few modelling agencies had called up the office to ask for her number. (Chili Padi’s a section that featured unknown, girl-next-door types).

Curious what the fuss was all about, I flipped through that particular issue and saw this pouty hottie that looked to be one of those who was born to be a model. Fooh, this girl’s got it, I thought.

But it was only a couple of years later, when I was at NewMan magazine, that I finally got to work with the girl. She was our co-covergirl (Soraya Dean was the other babe), but while her photos were pretty sizzling, the interview was pretty much a struggle.

She obviously had problems with the English language, but even more difficult was trying to get her to ‘get’ some of my questions. And my attempts to sex things up basically fell flat. Frustratingly.

But here’s an interesting excerpt:

"I don’t think I’ll ever model fulltime. It pays the bill but I don’t think it can guarantee my future. So I guess I’ll eventually be working in an air-conditioned office somewhere."

This was in 2003. We all know what happened after that. She won the Guess International Model Search; first in the local leg here in Malaysia, then the big international prize itself.

And now she’s, well, everywhere. It seems you can live the complete Amber lifestyle. Go to her gym, watch her TV, wear her clothes (not for me, though) surf on her laptop and yes, eat her brand of rice. Nice.



But seriously folks, the girl’s a true professional. Give her the clothes and room to pose and she’ll do the job every single time. Ask to take photo with her and she’ll oblige, anytime, anywhere. She’ll even fix her makeup just so she’ll look good for your photo. And yes, her English has also improved tremendously and I can now understand close to 70% of what she’s saying (that's a real compliment, ok?).

No surprise then that before I left FHM, Amber was on the cover twice. The second time in 2005 was to celebrate her being named Malaysia’s Sexiest Woman, and No 2 on the overall countdown.

That particular shoot was the hottest of them all as we shot extra pictures of her in teeny bikinis for the benefit of our international editions. Spa Indrani in KL was the location and it was a splashing good day indeed…

Excerpts from the FHM, Aug 2005 interview:

When was the last time you saw a guy that you really wanted to get to know?
Well, I’ve seen a lot of good looking guys, but most of them are in magazines! But if I see a guy that I really liked outside, I would give him signals to indicate that I’m interested to get to know him.

Signals?
Yeah, like a smile or maybe eye-contact.

But what happens if he doesn’t come over? Would you go to him? Or has that never happened to you before?
No, they always come and approach me. Ha ha!

Of course – you’re Amber Chia! What’s the sexiest gift you’ve ever received?
A bikini. And I loved it a lot cos I love going to the beach. In fact, I just came back from the US and I enjoyed going to the beach in LA.

Any interesting tales to tell?
Not really, but I’ve been to some beaches in Europe and was quite surprised to see people there sunbathing topless! Would I do the same? No.

Do you still have plenty of mirrors in your apartment?
I do! I admit that I always make sure that I look good every time I want to go out. So the mirrors are important to me. But I’m sure I’m notalone – girls need mirrors!




Monday, March 12, 2007

The 7 Coolest Things Of The Past 7 Days

1. NBA star Shaquille O’Neal gets his own reality show
And thank God it doesn’t involve the Big Daddy doing any singing!

2. The search for the next Pussycat Doll kicks off in the US
You know what I’m gonna say – It’s Pussy Galore!


3. Mr Bean in Bondi, Australia to promote new film
There was no sign of Teddy, though...

4. Janice Dickinson’s own show debuts on Channel [V]
The crazy chick shtick works even in solo mode.

5. Non-couple John Mayer and Jennifer Simpson head for Europe
For some non-romance, apparently…


6. 300 wins the US box-office battle
The graphic-novel adaptation made USD70m on its first weekend. The competition was comprehensively slaughtered.


7. Malaysian pair Tan Boon Heong and Khoo Kien Keat win All-England crown
Now let’s not spoil them by being over generous…

Friday, March 09, 2007

The Pop Report

No matter what happens with this season’s American Idol, I’m betting my Star Wars collection that 20-year-old Antonella Barba will become a huge (haha) star. And already, the creator of Girls Gone Wild (the video series that feature girls, um, gone wild) Joe Francis, has offered USD250,000 for Antonella to host the next installment of his wildly successful video venture. I say, go for it girl! Not like the gig involves anything difficult like, you know, singing.

Even more lucrative for Antonella would be a spread (haha) in Playboy. When asked about the possibility, Playboy Pak Guru Hugh Heffner said: “Very real possibility. Yes, absolutely.” Hear that, guys?

Here’s some people who’ll DEFINITELY appear in a future episode of American Idol; Gwen Stefani, Pink, Michael Buble, Josh Groban and… BORAT! Yup, these global superstars will perform at the result show on April 25th aimed at benefiting African and American young people in need. There’s no song list yet, but I don’t mind listening to the Kazakhstan national anthem sang to the tune of the American national anthem… “Kazakhstan is the, greatest country in the world…”

Boy George did it last year and next in line for the job is supermodel and telephone abuser Naomi Campbell. Campbell was in the soup (I’m just good at this, aren’t I?) after assaulting her maid with a telephone, and after pleading guilty, the court recently fined her USD363, ordered her to undergo anger-management counseling as well as 5 days of mopping the floor as community service.

But those who can’t bear the thought of seeing the ultra-glam Naomi sweeping the floor in a jumpsuit, grab a copy of the April issue of German GQ mag where she appears nude.

















Speaking of magazines, another great publication has apparently bitten the dust. This time, it’s the movie monthly Premiere. Only a couple of months ago lad rag FHM (US) came to a close. I guess on the bright side, we’re actually saving more trees. Al Gore must be pleased.

Latest to enter rehab: Eddie Van Halen. What? Are they implementing some sort of member-get-member privilege plan or something?

On the local front, Ex Malaysian Idol jury and kick-ass producer (literally!), Roslan Aziz has been announced as the new principal for the upcoming season of Akademi Fantasia. Straight away I hear the finalists have ordered approximately 3 tons of Kleenex. And adult pampers.

And yes, the Linda Onn-gate continues to intrigue conspiracy-loving Malaysians. Has she been suspended by Era FM? What took her so long to come back to KL? Was that a pair of ciplak sunglasses she wore?














That's it for this week. Are you enjoys?

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Conquering Captions

One of the coolest bits about FHM and similar lad rags is the cool and creative captioning of pictures. And this is in fact an ‘official’ requirement by the mag’s powers that be. It’s also a tricky thing to manage. Usually the last bit to conquer before a page is closed, there were times when I took days just to get that one caption right.

The rules? Well, basically anything goes ‘cos the objective is to liven up or add that needed humour on a particular page even when the subject or subject matter’s pretty dry. And as far as I can remember, there was only one instance when captions became a controversy.

The culprit was FHM Australia, which ran a feature on the Hillsborough tragedy when scores of football fans died, and printed some inappropriate captions to go along with the pictures. All hell broke loose soon after with many writing in and swearing never to read the magazine again. The issue was yanked off the newsstands and even the UK HQ had to work overtime on damage control.

Anyway, the point is, captions are taken seriously, and everyone had to master the all-important art, even the receptionist, who regularly pitched in.

Coming back to the ‘rules’, context is never an issue as captions usually has no connection whatsoever with the actual feature. Just look at the picture and think of what a regular FHM bloke would think of when confronted by the image. Easy, huh? There are other tips, but I’m afraid I’d have to monetise those. Just sms CAPTIONS and send to 31111, if you want to know. *

Honestly, I kinda miss all the captioning fun, so you’ll definitely see a lot of that now here…















It was the only ‘balloon’ John Doe managed to grab

* I’m kidding, of course

Monday, March 05, 2007

The 7 Coolest Things Of The Past 7 Days

1. Malaysia to get own CSIs
Let's hope each department gets its mandatory hottie.

2. Jennifer Hudson’s big, um, vocals at the Oscars
Awesome’s the word! The vocals, I mean.



















3. Jolie-Pitt make it 4
Apparently, the couple has filed papers to adopt another baby from Southeast Asia. TomKat's waay behind the count on this one.

4. James Cameron finds tomb of Jesus!
The doc will appear on Discovery Channel soon. Leonard DiCaprio-less, though.

5. Liz Hurley gets her man
The actress married Indian textile heir and software entrepreneur Arun Nayar in a civil ceremony. It was a quiet and low-key event, even though Elton John was in attendance.

6. Simon defends Antonella over slutty shots
Cowell was quoted as saying: “Whoever sold those is despicable. I really mean that. It's despicable.” It's hard to disagree with him on this one...




















7. Finally… Anna Nicole Smith put to rest in the Bahamas
RIP.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

The Pop Report

While the world celebrated the winners of this year’s Oscars, here in Malaysia, an Oscar-related mystery has developed. For the second year running, Star TV organised an Oscar Red Carpet thingy right here in KL and as an added hype, they also sent 2 Asian personalities to the actual Red Carpet event in Hollywood. The privileged pair was Channel [V]'s Dominic and Linda Onn of Era FM.




















And I guess we've all heard of what happened. When the cameras rolled and the stars started to strut their stuff on the red carpet, Linda was a no-show. Did she miss her flight? Or did she simply lost track of the time cos she didn't adjust her watch accordingly? We know now that it was because of a dress.

A freakin' dress.

I don't really need to go into the details cos really, if Jennifer Hudson could wear an ugly dress, why not you, Linda? And not like it's never happened before, anyway...

Next year, get someone more accommodating will ya? I'm sure there are tons of talent who'd do the red carpet without even wearing a dress! Now, that's great TV.

Everybody's favourite heiress Paris Hilton was also in the news this past week (But of course). Driving with the headlights off and with a suspended license to boot, Paris apparently violated her probation terms and now faces up to 90 days in jail.

On behalf of the Paris-Posse™, plase don’t jail the girl! We need her to be free to amuse and entertain us 24/7. What good would it do society to keep her in the slammer? How are we to survive 90 days of Paris-free existence?

Then again, Hollywood might just survive the ordeal what with the impending invasion of the Beckhams. Soon after David appears on the cover of men’s mag Details, Posh scored a deal with NBC to do a reality series about her move from London to L.A. It should be a hit, provided David is not given a speaking role, that is.




















Maybe I’m wrong about Britney after all. What was thought to be an impulsive decision has proven to be a calculated trend-setting move. Just a few days after she shocked the world by shaving her head bald, there's been sighting of at least one A-list copycat...














That's it for this week. Are you enjoys?

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