Thursday, August 30, 2007

MERDEKA SPECIAL: 30 Coolest Things About Malaysia / Being Malaysian

1. We’re so respectful, we call half of the people in the country “Datuk”.

2. We’re so multi-whatever. E.g.: There are people named Pierre and Candace who come from places like Sg. Toh and Manjung.

3. We’re also multi-accented. Malaysians speak in perfect American, British or Australian accent and we’re proud of it!

4. Deadlines for income tax and new ICs are always extended. Government so understanding mah.

5. We’re consistent in other ways. RTM TV programs, for example, have looked the same since 1935.

6. We’re a very creative lot. Give us just a small space, and we’d be able to park 47 cars there.

7. Also, give Malaysians a nice, clean toilet wall, and we’ll “decorate” it, free of charge!

8. Everyone’s a “boss”.

9. Everyone with a tad of talent is an “artis”.

10. We celebrate everything by declaring another “public holiday”!

11. We’re not long-winded people. When asked for opinion about something, we simply reply: “Er, aaaa, um, errrr, kira ok lah”.

12. Rats making dinners? We’ve had it for years!!! Just go to Uptown.

13. Taxis always take us round and round before we reach actual destination. A definite boost for domestic tourism.

14. We’re an accommodating lot. Even when we get no service at restaurants, we’ll always return to the same places anyway!

15. We love celebrations so much, we’d even combine whatever holiday we can to make it even bigger, like Deepa Raya, Kongsi Raya, Krismas Puasa.

16. Talk about unity, just throw an Open House and you’ll see Malaysians from all walks of life flocking over with Tupperware in hand. Free food unites us!

17. Also on unity, we just love to get together via the various persatuans. Even better if there’s free t-shirt and kuih muih.

18. When we go to Sabah or Sarawak, we need to carry passports. It gives these two places an “international feel”. No need to go elsewhere already!

19. We believe in “survival of the fittest”, that’s why we basically shun queues. It turns us into tougher people.

20. During fasting month, we’ll see people from all races enjoying the buka puasa feasts in true muhibbah fashion, even if it means bumping off those who actually fasted during the day and are about to die from hunger.

21. We welcome praises from anyone, anywhere in the world; except from foreigners who are jealous of our success and practice a new form of colonialism which we have to be wary of.

22. We love football so much, we’d die defending our favourite football clubs like Manchester United and Chelsea.

23. We add chili sauce to just about everything that we eat; so much so that we feel “cheated” when dining overseas and the waiter brings us bloody ketchup. Tui!

24. The line “Can I hep chu?”. You can’t hear it anywhere else in the world!

25. We break records every other day! There’s not a kuih that we don’t want to make the BIGGEST version of.

26. We don’t like to show-off. That’s why our national football team ranks lower than the likes of Swaziland and Mauritania. We simply don’t want to eksyen mah.

27. On the road, we treat strangers like good friends, in that we don’t feel guilty in directing insults at them.

28. Also, motorcyclists enjoy complete freedom on the road since regular traffic laws don’t really apply to them.

29. We have plenty of gorgeous rivers for picnicking, and also, for convenient garbage disposal.

30. People actually claim that they invented some of our unique dishes. Kari kepala ikan invented by Singapore? Puhleeez…


5 mins said...

Good read! lol. No. 8 & 15 is soooo Malaysian manz....

Angelin said...

hilarious...and yet so true :)

M.Zul said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
M.Zul said...

Thanks guys :)

I wanted to do 50, but just didn't have the time. Maybe I'll add on anyway soon.

There's just so many things about Malaysia/ns that's "cool" lah : )

Quachee said...

Interesting read :)


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