Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Tabloid Tales : Starring ghouls, minxes and horses

I’m kicking off this edition with some excellent news from Mingguan Warta Perdana. The folks in Pantai Remis, Perak can sleep better now cos the goblin that’s been haunting them has been caught by Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Ha ha! Not really. Buffy’s been off air for a few years already, so there’s no way she could have done this.

Anyway, it was a slightly unsexier pawang who caught the little rascal which has now been placed in a mayonnaise jar (I’m guessing here). The excellent-er news? You can catch a glimpse of this “jembalang”, and a host of other weird beings (politicians not included, though) at an exhibition in Central Market.

And here’s the headline of the fortnight courtesy of Mingguan Warga Kota

I'm speechless, really. But I have to say that this particular issue is packed with the best kind of sleaze you can imagine. From reports of female undergrads providing “khidmat power”(powerful service?), to transvestites using black magic to lure married men into their bed, this is the kind of read that will leave you wondering, “How come I’m not getting any action myself?” Kidding!

And while an English newspaper was suspended (ahem) for merely mentioning Malaysians’ favourite positions in the sack (which we’re all well aware of, right?), this tabloid actually describes in great detail how to execute the Top 3 positions, “Gaya Kepiting”, “Dok-al-Arz” and the imaginatively-named “Gaya Kuda” (Horse Style). A must-read indeed for those who still don’t quite know how to make the best of certain “spots” and “zones”.

If that’s not enough, Bacaria has 14 more tips specially researched for the ladies by one Diva Lady Armani.

Pick of the tips? Avoid touching the weak spots on your hubby’s body, ladies. Instead, focus on other parts such as “dada, puting atau lengannya yang sasa.” (chest, nipples or his bulging biceps)

Guys, get cracking on those bicep curls already…

No comments:


Blog Widget by LinkWithin