Thursday, March 15, 2007

Tabloid Tales (every fortnight)

Welcome to this brand spanking new column where I put the trash out for your general amusement.

And what better way to kick things off than a bit on the King of Kulai himself, Mawi. A mere kapchai owner a couple of years back, the dude now has a fleet of cars, including a Kia Optima and a Naza Sorento, at his disposal. The only hitch? He’s got no driver’s license!

Well folks, we can all stop losing sleep over it now cos according to Mingguan Perdana, Mawi is getting his driver’s license any day now. And the move has drawn a positive reaction from JPJ itself, although it came with a warning: “If the dude drives without a license anyway, we’re gonna make him sing at our annual dinner. For the next 10 years.” I’m kidding, of course.

Now, here’s some great news for those into headless Japanese soldiers! According to Mingguan Misteri, folks from a kampung in Bahau, Negri Sembilan have had various encounters with Mr Yamatakmatilagi. Even more chilling is the fact that this particular soldier can assume various forms (ala the bad Terminators in those Arnie movies) including the run-of-the-mill lembaga hitam (yawn) and, believe it or not, a hot babe. But no, it wasn’t Maya Karin, ok?

And here’s the headline of the fortnight…

Yup. In big, bold font is the word ‘coli’. Right there on the front-page. No prizes for guessing what the story’s all about. But here’s the latest twist on Linda Onn-gate as exposed by Bacaria.

Apparently, the reason she refused to wear that controversial skin colour Kebaya was because she only brought pink and black bras (ahem), and those wouldn’t match well with the dress.

And we all know how hard it is to find a pair of new bras in Hollywood, don’t we?

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